recolle contact

[wordcarvings]

koutarou kurashiki

Let my art be the sound of my soul / Let it reminisce of the good times / Let it scribble the lines of the bad times / Let it bloom with excitement / Let my art be a representation of me / Just let it be me 

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

lemon leaf (landline)

This is Takao at Lemon Leaf at [street #, Apprassage]. I apologize for not being able to take your call at the moment, but leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I'm able to.

VOICE | ACTION

Comments

[wordcarvings]

No, I’m not busy. Why are you asking?

[flowrite]

do u mind if I come over or can u come over

[wordcarvings]

I don't mind that at all, whichever you prefer.

[flowrite]

are u at home?

[wordcarvings]

I am, yes.

text -> action

[flowrite]

ill get a taxi, see u soon

[Because someone is upset and is in no condition to drive right now.

He's been to Koutarou's apartment a couple of times, although not recently, but it's enough to direct the taxi driver. Fai shows up about twenty minutes later in a t-shirt and jeans--not his usual level of care in his appearance to say the least. He also looks like he's been crying.

There's a knock at the door~]

[wordcarvings]

I will be waiting, then.

[ He also sends him the newest front door code, so he can get in through said front door.

He keeps an eye on the window while he cleans away some of the mess his recent sprees of sketching things from his hallucinomemories, because the sketchbooks and loose papers are pretty much everywhere at the moment. He also puts on water in the water boiler.

Once he spots Fai through the window he turns on the boiler so that there is warm water or quickly warmed water if he wants tea or something. So he's pretty quick to open the door once he hears the knock, and steps aside to let him inside. ]

Hey. Are you alright...?

[flowrite]

[For the last ten or fifteen minutes Fai has been really impressed with how well he's keeping himself together. He managed not to cry in the taxi at all, saving him a little bit of embarrassment (even though he knows his eyes are red, let him have this modicum of dignity dammit). Only when Koutarou opens the door that all pretty much flies out the window.

Koutarou is one of the only friends he has left from before he tried to self-destruct, and the only one who remembers that particular moment in history. Hell, he was the one who dragged Fai out of it. He's probably the one person in the city who knows Fai the best. Which is why Fai is here, instead of trying to find time in his boyfriend's busy schedule to cry on his shoulder.

And it's also why Fai's face crumples when he spots Koutarou. A hand flies up to cover his face and he shakes his head, too absorbed with trying to hide his tears to move from the doorway.]

[wordcarvings]

[ Though it was hard to know what was going on, he had been concerned. Not that Fai couldn’t come over, or ask to come over, at times when nothing it wrong, but the text messages had been different from the ones he sent when he was happy. His suspicions are quickly confirmed once he sees Fai at his door.

To see Fai crumple like that, the way he tries to hide his tears and the fact that something is clearly wrong makes his heart ache for his friend.He doesn’t want him to keep on suffering, he has already suffered too much.

He reaches out, puts an arm around Fai's back, and gently leads him past the threshold. He only pauses to close and lock the door, but then he leads him into the livingroom and to the couch, where their height difference won’t get in the way of giving him a proper hug. Fai doesn’t need to hide his tears from him, but he won’t force him to show them, either. ]

[flowrite]

[Fai keeps a hand over his face, at least over his mouth, as they pass into the living room and settle on the couch. A hug would... really be appreciated right about now.

After they sit, Fai shakes his head and sniffles a little, trying to get himself under control enough to speak. His voice is shaky but at least the words come out.]

I'm so sorry to bother you like this, I just can't... I can't....

[wordcarvings]

[ He tightens the hug a little bit, wanting to keep Fai safe from whatever is going on. But it’s impossible for him to actually do anything if he doesn’t know what it is. ]

It’s alright, you know I never mind.

[ He gently rubs a thumb against his back. ]

What’s happened?

[ Who does he need to beat up? No, seriously, he hates fighting but Fai is one of the people he would fight for.

But telling him must be Fai’s decision, at the pace he wants to tell him, and what he can do right now is to simply be there for him. ]

[flowrite]

[For a long moment Fai just buries his face against Koutarou's shoulder, enjoying the warmth and the safety of the hug. It doesn't change the horrible things he keeps remembering, but it's at least enough stability and comfort to slow the tears, so he'll have an easier time of trying to explain.

And he marvels, not for the first time, at how lucky he is to have such a good friend. How he hasn't managed to push Koutarou away like so many others.]

It's one of those hallucino-memories. I've had some bad ones already, but this one....

[He shivers against his friend and pauses before trying to continue explaining.]

It was about my brother.

[wordcarvings]

[ The hallucinomemories... He knows they can be tough, and that a lot of people have those much worse than his. He had hoped those dear to him wouldn’t have to deal with that type, though.

There’s nothing to physically do about them, they don’t know the reason why they have them and they can’t do anything to stop them. But when painful ones appears, then they can at least be supportive of each other. ]

He was in it?

[ His brother was in his hallucinomemory. That was...unusual, he thinks. People could have other people from here in them, or they could share names with other people or their memories, he knows both from experience, but..... ]

[flowrite]

[Fai nods against Koutarou's shoulder.]

Sort of. He was... he was still dead. But when he died I stole his name. He was the real Fai, not me. I stole this name. My real name was Yuui. Is Yuui?

[He lifts his head, eyes red, and sniffles.]

I don't even know. I've been thinking about it so much, I'm so confused. Am I Fai? Am I Yuui?

[Sorry Koutarou, he's a bit of a mess right now.]

[wordcarvings]

[ He frowns, and rubs Fai’s back quietly. That’s a heavy memory. What’s the meaning of them? Why is this happening and why is it messing things up for Fai? ]

I think you’re Fai. I don’t know about this, other life or what it is that’s going on, but the person right here is Fai. I know that.

[ He has no reason to doubt who he is, he’s known him for years and he’s always been Fai. ]

[flowrite]

[Fai gives him a watery smile, eyes still wet with tears.]

I keep telling myself that. I know who I am. But these memories seem so real, and... I think I'm Yuui in all of them. But if I'm not him....

[He drops his head again, this time to rest on Koutarou's shoulder.]

In most of these memories he seems so... lonely. Lonely and afraid.